I can't always be there
by valtamerentakainen
Summary: Bodyguard's thoughts about being outsider as his charge grows and starts school.


Maybe the first time Butler realised it, was when he saw Artemis entering the school gate, this far, the only place, where the bodyguard couldn't follow.

_I can't always be by his side. I can't always protect him from everything. _

Being a bodyguard is always more than a job. And in this certain case, it was more than a way of life. Protecting his principal and friend was always Butler's main concern, through night and day.

It was just so much easier when Artemis was younger.

_"Couldn't it wait until tomorrow, sir?" Butler's voice was strained. It had been a long day, even it was only an early afternoon. He was repairing the apple of Mr. Fowl's eye, Porsche Cabriolet. It wasn't very old, but it had refused co-operating yesterday. On the motorway. Luckily, it wasn't rush hour. Mr Fowl wasn't pleased. Waiting for a ride by the roadside wasn't proper for a crime lord. If Butler couldn't fix the car and guarantee that it would be reliable from now on… The family was running out of cars. They would be forced to start using Bentley Arnage Red Label for the travels of the head of the family. Butler had never relayed on that one... Mr. Fowl had his reasons to refuse the car repair shop. Butler didn't want to think about them too much._

_Artemis shook his head determinedly. He was standing demandingly in front of the car._

_"I need to go to the museum right now."_

_"But your father asked me to take Mrs. Fowl to town and organize---"_

_"Whose bodyguard are you? Why can't Major do that?"_

_"He is very busy with your father today… " He glanced at Artemis' deeply hurt face. Once again it seemed that Mr. Fowl's plans made it impossible for Artemis to live his own life._

_"…But I'll ask him. Maybe your mother could wait for a day." Artemis' expression brightened. _

Butler smiled while remembering the event. It appeared later that the Porsche was irretrievably broken, and the Bentley, which he was driving through the Fowl Manor gate at the very moment, had served the family well. Artemis had enjoyed his stay in the museum until closing hour, studying the paintings of the 19th century extremely careful. _Who knows, maybe he'll become an artist some day_, Mrs. Fowl had said to the bodyguard when they were back. For some reason, Butler doubted that.

Later on that day, Butler passed Artemis' empty room. It raised memories in his mind.

_There was a time, when I really thought I could protect him even from his own emotions._

_Artemis was sitting on the floor, staring out the window as Butler knocked the door quietly. He wasn't sure if Artemis heard it, the row of his parents was maybe too loud. So the manservant stepped inside, only to see his charge start. The boy's blue eyes turned to him, but the look was glassy, and Butler wasn't sure if Artemis really saw him._

_"When will be the time when they have fought enough?"_

_Butler sat next to his charge and sighed. How could you explain something like this to a child hardly four years old?_

_After a moment he said:_

_"I really don't know, Artemis. But I'm waiting for that day as eagerly as you are."_

_A door was slammed downstairs. But that didn't make the quarrel end. Butler saw that for Artemis, it would soon be too much to put up with._

_He had to find a way to take the boy's mind somewhere else._

_"While we're waiting, I could show you a place where you won't hear it." _

_Artemis looked at him hopefully. "Is it here in the manor?"_

_Butler smiled. "It's even closer." He placed his legs for the lotus position. "Place your feet like this." He advised Artemis. It took a moment before Artemis found the right posture. Angeline Fowl yelled at his husband in the living room. The sound echoed through the building. They both pretended they didn't hear._

_"And now, we are ready to find your _chi._"_

_Artemis waited Butler's every word with excitement._

_In that situation, most of the children of this world would probably get bored. But not Artemis. They were sitting side by side on the floor, meditating for a long time after Mr. Fowl had locked himself in his study and Angeline Fowl had left outside for a walk._

_Butler had succeeded that time, but there was no way he could prevent Artemis from hearing other fights. There was no way he could make Artemis think that everything was all right._

Butler really enjoyed his job as a bodyguard. And it bothered him that he couldn't perform his task properly. Perhaps school wasn't the most dangerous place for his charge, but the Fowls weren't without enemies. Enemies that, who knows, might be ready to blow up the whole building to get rid of the sole heir to the Fowl family.

However, the school wasn't the core of the problem. There would be other places, other situations, where the bodyguard couldn't take part. And Butler had no alternatives but to accept it, although he knew it was going to be difficult.

He stopped the car close to the school gate and waited.

In proportion as Artemis grew, his job would only get harder. That was a fact he had known since the beginning, but hadn't really understood until now.

As always, he felt relieved when he saw his young principal approaching, standing out from the rest of the children with his serious appearance that didn't fit for his young age.

Butler opened the door and Artemis got into the car. It was obvious that the boy was thoroughly bored with the time he had spent at school. He didn't talk much during the drive, so Butler concentrated on his own thoughts.

_Maybe I can't always be there if he happens to fall._

He slowed down as the road was getting rugged. They would be back to Fowl Manor in no time.

_But I can try. And I'll do my best to be there when he needs me._

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thank you for reading

I have a strange feeling that this story is full of errors in language. I hate prepositions…Anyway, I hope you understand what I wrote. Please let me know about my mistakes. My dear dictionary doesn't tell everything :D I don't own anything.


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